Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why would calling me an incel help anything? How does that solve anything? Why can’t you actually be helpful and offer productive honest advice?

It’s here now, writing to you.

I had run out of hope.

And the sadness?

Why does the God of the Bible condemn homosexual acts?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Why does Christianity push reconciliation after a partner cheats? Mine had a 7-year affair with someone half my age. He cheated and lied. He is not the same to me.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

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I was tired of trying and failing.

The sadness was still there.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What is the gayest experience you have seen in prison?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

You are like me, then.

How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

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What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Be who you already are.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Do you think that the Democratic Party of the USA is not fighting back against Trump? And if so, why do you think so?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Short story writers, what is your favorite character you've created and do they appear in more than one of your works?

It’s still here.

I was tired of fighting.